Habit No. 3: Sleeping

I can not stress enough the major role and importance of a good night sleep.
If you can change only one thing about your life or your childrens’ life, let it be your sleeping habits.
Once you do, you will notice the major impact it has on you life. On every aspect of it.

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Styx lion cubs sleeping by Andrew Batchelor

Styx lion cubs sleeping by Andrew Batchelor

I can not stress enough the major role and importance of a good night sleep.
If you can change only one thing about your life or your children’s’ life, let it be your sleeping habits.
Once you do, you will notice the major impact it has on you life. On every aspect of it.

1. Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day. Or at least around the same time. Even on weekends.
It ìs very important for your health (both the mental and the physical).

2. If you have slept late for quite a while, reverse this unhealthy habit gradually. Go to bed 15 minutes earlier than the day before each night. Turn on your alarm so you don’t forget. Have a reminder an hour before the alarm, so you will make it easier for yourself to comply with it.
If you miss a day or more, don’t be harsh on yourself. Just be consistent and get back on track to happier life.
Keep going to bed 15 minutes earlier till you reach your favourable bedtime.

3. Remember. Wake up in the same time everyday. If you’re used to waking up late, turn the alarm to 15 minutes earlier each day, till you reach your ideal waking hour. If you don’t know what it is, make it 8 o’clock. The earlier the better. Even if you aren’t a ‘morning person’. You will have more time for yourself and you can use it to relax, have a nice lengthy breakfast, exercise lightly or just plan and visualize your day. All those activities carry their benefits and have great impact on your whole day.
And most important of all, that keeps you in charge of your day, your week,  ect., and hence, your life. And getting control back, decreases depression and feelings of incompetence and is very valuable by itself.

4. Avoid caffeine, sugars, fried, spicy and all kinds of stimulating foods at least eight hours.

5. Have water beside your bed so when Y get thirsty all you have to do is reach out for it.

6. Take Magnesium an hour before your bedtime.Among it’s other benefits,  It relaxes your muscles and helps you sleep better. For better absorption, take it along with the vitamins C, B6 and E. (unless you’re a month before surgery and if so, omit E, since it dilutes the blood).

7. Avoid consuming caffeine, chocolate/cocoa, wine, black/green tea, sugar, spicy food, aged cheese and any stimlating food/beverage at least 5 hours before your bedtime.

8.Have a relaxing evening routine. Avoid stimulating activities/foods. Listen to natural sounds/relaxing music/music you have good memories of. Read a nice old fashioned classic book.

9.Finish dinner 3 hours before you go to bed. Drink water/caffeine free herb tea (chamomile or melissa = lemon balm is great). Eat vegetables after dinner if you need a snack. Prepare them in advance.

10.In bed, think of at least 3 good things that you have accomplished today. Even the slightest one counts. Even just putting something in it’s place or doing one push up or getting one tiny thing done. Indulge in the most simple joy. Make it a habit. Forgive yourself and move on. Promise yourself to take care of one thing tat worries you tomorrow or at a certain date and time. It will help your subconscious let go of worrying about it.

None of the above replaces consulting with your physician. All is derived of my own personal experience and if you have any doubts as to whether it’s good for you, consult your physician. 

Habit No.1: Breathing

Breathing is the first thing you did when you came into this world.

Over the years you got accustomed to shallow breathing. Only enough for you to survive. But you need much more than that. Both for your body and your soul.

You will want to acquire the habit of breathing through your nose, to begin with. If you were not breathing this way till now, make an effort to be aware of it. It will be odd at the beginning, but later on it will become instinctive and it will be a part of you. You will feel better and sleep better and be healthier.

The second breathing habit you will want to acquire will be the one that relieves you from tension and fear. This tiny, easy, simple habit will literally change your emotional life and turn you into a calmer and hence a stronger person.

All you need to do is breath in normally, inhaling as you always do, not deeply. Then you exhale real slow, while making the sound “ffffffff” or “ssssss” or “sh sh sh” through almost closed relaxed lips, patiently letting air out gently and slowly till all the air is out. You do this for only one minute, three times. You do it in the morning and in the evening, in a quiet room with no distractions.

You can also do it before you fall asleep. It will relax you, move your attention away of stressful thought and help you fall asleep faster Then you do it every time you feel overwhelmed, anxious or exited, even in public.

No one can tell that you do it if you do it lightly.So it can assist you in stressful events.

Later do it for two minutes each time. It relaxes your body, slows down your pulse and raises your hands temperature a bit. You will start feeling in control. It feels great. Then start the habit of deeper breathing. I will write about it later.

Please share this article if you like it and let me know how it affected you and whether I can help you further.

Habit No.2: Drinking

Yes. Drinking.
No. Not alcohol. WATER.
Drink cool fresh water.
A cup per hour. Or eight cups a day.
More if you are straining or outdoors in a hot weather.

Learn to savour the moment. Enjoy each sip. Imagine you are in the desert and just found a magic fountain.
Or just force yourself to. Darn it!

Well, now seriously. Most of our body is made of water. Just take a mental note of that. Athletes take water very seriously. They drink a lot in the days before a contest. They know well of the way it affects their peak performance.

Water drinking, if done properly, reduces your chance to suffer from a stroke substantially.

It also helps digestion, provided you do not drink while eating, since it dilutes the acids that digest your food.

It keeps your colon, your kidneys and your blood density in a better shape and prevents many health problems.
And the best part is it is easy and accessible.
So start drinking!

And remember that alcohol, caffein and tea deprive you of fluids. So drink a cup of water any time you can.
Do not drink excessively, since you do not want to dilute your blood too much.

You need about 8 cups of water a day. And coffee tea and sodas are not taken into consideration.

Put a glass of water at your bedside (or a bottle). Drink 2 cups of water as you wake. Add some hot water if the weather is cold, to make it easier to drink as you wake.

And the bonus is (among other things) it will help you to lose weight (if you need to) and make your skin more radiant.

So be there for yourself. Drink water!

I miss my mom. That’s how this blog started.

“You’re not fooling me with that blush you put on your cheeks.  I know you’re still pale. Come eat something.”

Well, wouldn’t you be happy to have a mother telling you that just one last time?

I envy you, who’s mother’s alive and well. A day after my mom left for the hereinafter, on the damned October of 2004 eight years after my dad has, I forced myself to eat two soft-boiled eggs  to please her. Now she can a l w a y s see me. Like in that Woody Allen film, with his mom in the sky, nagging him everywhere he went.

She had always made me two of the most delicious eggs every morning, emptying them into a lovely old-fashioned porcelain British tea-cup, with some melted butter and a pinch of salt.

I still wonder, how the heck, in the coldest of winter dawns, she managed to serve them hot and nice. I tried that just once on the autumn of 2004, and they got cold in an instant.
Never tried again.

As much as I love cooking and even won a Skippy peanut butter cooking contest that proved my children don’t flatter me in vain, I have failed this one simple memory recreating task in a rather disgraceful manner.
So I lost my appetite for about a year, not to mention my sleep, my clients, and my famous good cheer.
If it weren’t for my children, I would have never gotten out of bed or wear makeup.

So, a year and 26 pound (less) later, I tried gaining some weight back to keep my old 26 size pants from falling of.
Nothing helped.

I managed gaining a pound a month for a while, and went back to old Gloomland. It was nice and cosy and I knew the drill.

No sleep at night. No appetite at day. Much work at home. Lots of car pooling in the afternoons. Lots of questionnaires to check how depressed I am and what to eat and take in order to be at least a shadow of my old self.
Later on, eating junk food (mainly bread and pastries) didn’t get me any pounds. And as to add insult to an injury, I had the irritable bowl syndrome. That had brought my sometimes successful efforts to gain weight ( and health) to an end.

Six years and a cardiac event later, When I was certain I was soon to join my mom, I found out I had Celiac. So my body didn’t get to absorb any of the foods and food supplements I devoured. My body’s various systems where deteriorating severely.

A month after eating gluten-free food and endless supplements, I gained about eight blissful pounds and my good cheer.

A year and 24 pounds later, I was back to my 26 size pants, and my heart was beating regularly 24 hours a day. So no wonder I never wanted to indulge in a stressful occupation again. I just wanted to live.

So now, a couple of years later, all I want is to give whoever needs it some motherly advice. Just be here for you that feel lost and need to share his or her sorrows, trouble, indecision and hopefully joys and good fortune, too. Just be there. Like a good loving purehearted Mom.

And hopefully, others will join in to give a helping hand to those who need it, so we can create a supportive community for those who need some motherly advice.

So if you don’t have a mother or can’t get some motherly advice from her, I will happily lend you mine. Of course, I am not a professional therapist of any kind. So this is not consultation of a professional nature of any kind whatsoever.

But I’m here for you. So start posting.
You can also contact me by mail/Facebook/this blog.

I’m here to give you unconditional non-judgemental motherly support and advice.